Thursday, August 13, 2009

So, Hogwarts has an alarm system.

I was planning on updating everyone about my weekend for my next post, but as this is my last week of work, got a little busy with catching all the sights I hadn't seen yet in the district. Therefore I decided to go to the library of Congress Wednesday evening after work. Just a hop, skip and a jump on the metro and there I was.

So I enter the James Madison Building and browse the directory. I write down a couple areas on interest and head on my way. I meander around and decide to head down to the coffee shop to buy a banana or something to sate my hunger. Well the coffee shop has closed and so I turn the corner and decide to wander and see what I can find. Well, what did I find? I found a tunnel. I am suddenly underground in the bowels of the James Madison building. Ooooooh, tunnel. It's kind of charming once you get passed the hot/cold water pipes overhead. and the large CAUTION:HOT signs slapped on everything. I guess that's a charm that grew from walking around under Central Michigan University as a child. Probably not appreciated by many. Though, Jeff Pape if you're out there, I know you understand.

So I am lost in walking and being in a cool place without ANYONE else around, a feeling I haven't really been able to have since I came to DC. Truly. Actually not that I think about it I passed a couple of security guards...probably should have been a red flag there.

Still walking, and wandering, and thinking, debating the idea of finding some stair to get ABOVE ground again, since I have no idea where I am, and could be all the way to the Cap. at this point. All of a sudden! I I spot a sign. And I know, this is magical. Just magical. I follow the nice arrow from my fantasies and keep and eye out for Filch...I know he or his snitching cat will be around a corner somewhere.

I head to the Great Hall and find some stairs AND an auditorium. If you know me, I love theatres and stages and just being around performing and the places that it happens. Next stop, I find the auditorium locked and take a right. It's a pretty hallway and I take a picture. The hall jigs to the right...and is accompanied by a sign.....the plot thickens.
I take the only realistic choice, which is to take a picture and of course keep walking. I am now in the restricted section of the Library of Congress; after being in the Great Hall, I feel pretty good. I find a cute little courtyard and take a picture of it. I find a bathroom and use it (although no moaning myrtle-big letdown) and I decide it's time to hit the bricks. Even though i have thoroughly enjoyed being somewhere a. with so much information and history b. by myself c. where I'm not supposed to be. But alas, my stomach is a little bit hungry and I have a movie to catch, so I look for the modern yellow brick road consisting of red lights in the shape of E-X-I-T.

I find a lot of doors with signs saying exit and pointing me in a direction like a friend's smile. I follow them wondering how humid the world will be outside and push on the door. It is checked by the THREE deadbolts that are across it. dang. Apparently not, so I turn to find another exit.

And then it starts. Only this banshee-like noise does not come from Harry Potter or any figment of any imagination.

Well, ok. Then. ok. err.

So I make it to an exit after walking a looonnnngggg time. And as I'm about to leave I hear a voice say, "Mam". Hmmm, shit. I turn to face my judgement and own personal Snape. It's a security guard. He says"I need to check your bag"

Riiiiight! Of course you do! And especially me seeing as I've been walking through restricted areas with papers from 1787 and just browsing. But you don't know that. Right. Onward. I allow him to have access to my bag and he gives me the nod and I'm free to go. But, then I think, hey, if I'm gonna break the rules and get away with it, I might as well be a good citizen in the eyes of the law. eh? So I say, "sir, there's an alarm going off on the opposite side of the building, near the auditorium." He says thank you and begins to make those noises that all security guards must be taught in security guard finishing school that are COMPLETELY indistinguishable from charlie brown's teachers and parents. Except they are very lowwww. But I push open the door and greet the fresh, albeit humid, air with a sigh.

Trespassing in a federal building: Check

Dinnertime then a movie.

Not a bad day.

Claire Bond.
Song: "Vagabond" By Wolfmother

I'll update about the weekend after I break into the white house. Movin' on up, right?


  1. sounds like you needed your Invisibility Cloak if your going to go wandering the halls and tunnels of the government.


  2. this is the best post far... :)

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