Wednesday, August 17, 2011

nili rudi

please - click me

I have returned.
and then I left again - on a jet plane to MI to see the marriage of a close cousin - we share a middle name.
and then back again - to the great lake of salt and the nearby city I call home currently. I'm sorta done flying. Except for teh fact that today I bought another plane ticket to fly back for my dear sister's, Gercie's wedding in September. aïïïëeee.

This summer has been somewhat of a blur and the organization of my desk shows it. Wine glasses that were used the night before my departure to Africa still sit upon my desk.  Beautiful but purpose-less items purchased from obscure vendors in Asia litter where I normally write my extensive lists. A burger menu from a late night outing in Amsterdam sits waiting to be put on my wall - a wall that is empty due to my moving out in 2 weeks. Flowers I plucked and stuck in the Patron bottle stopper top have wilted, died and dried.  All on my desk.

The haphazard and spontaneous summer I've had has leaked inevitably from my mind over to my physical space. Mehhh, Fuck it. Disorder can create magnificent and chaotic patterns in it's own right. I should harness this raw form of function and see what happens....but I do love lists. I think the unfettered and disheveled schedule is what has been ordered. Life's throwing me for a loop and making me practice something with which I struggle sometimes - patience. Well, I should clarify.  I'm quite patient when it comes to others, but when I'm told to sit idle, to be internally patient, well, I lack a certain serenity that in the 1800's would have quickly given me the black mark of being unfit to hold the XX sequence. SERENITY NOW. ish?

So here I am today, wishing I was still showering under a bucket drinking sharp, strong, and satisfying ginger ale.  Or staring at my feet, enjoying teh simplicity of my inhale/exhale sequence whilst forging on up the scree as the sun burns and the wind strips me of any evidence of another's presence. Instead, I settle for a run and stared as the sun set on the valley, the day, and my unkempt mind.

Part of me craves to firmly plant my feet on a mountain top and claim the world for my own - and part of me yearns to then fling myself off to twist, fly and let the world claim me.

isn't that simply beautiful?

Until next time, x
Claire Winter

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